Post by Bitmap on Jul 16, 2023 16:17:22 GMT
Contributions by me to the Hedgehog Song, modelled after this pattern: www.lspace.org/fandom/songs/hedgehogsong.html
Well, at least the ones I found ...
People on a safari said it was not too hard
With some guidance to bugger the cámelopard:
You may need a long ladder – it's awfully tall –
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
Back in seventeen eighty, some late afternoon,
our president Donald arrived on the moon.
There, he buggered the Britons and built a huge wall,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you're feeling quite desperate for love and a rhyme,
You can bugger the Dodo: just go back in time.
It is easy, just ask Donald J. and his men –
but the hedgehog can't even be buggered back then
Even Mary the virgin, God's maiden most dear,
Can be buggered if you simply go through her ear.
(That is if you're an angel and follow His call).
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you feel no remorse, you can bugger the horse;
You can bugger the mule (if you do it with force).
You can bugger the donkey, the hinny, the ass,
But the hedgehog had better be left in the grass.
If thy father be slain and revenge be thy thing,
Thou canst bugger thy uncle, the treach'rous new king.
(That's the story of Hamlet, a play by the Bard)
But to bugger the hedgehog's undoably hard.
After Jesus had died, in the old Roman days,
People buggered each other in various ways:
Nicomedes took Caesar while Caesar took Gaul;
But the hedgehog has never been buggered at all.
Under Lincoln's command and the Red Rocket's glare
Our troops conquered Britain by manning the air.
They persisted through perils, through trouble and strife,
And they buggered a hedgehog and made him their wife.
You can wipe out two towns and earn glory and praise,
And discuss the republic in various ways.
Yet no leader almighty, no all-knowing sage
Ever buggered the hedgehog to this day and age.
Over four years ago in the apocalypse,
Teddy Roosevelt stared into the solar eclipse.
Armageddon came true as predicted by Paul,
but the hedgehog has never been buggered at all.
Even though she's protected by God and her guard
To enbugger Her Majesty ain't really hard:
You can fuck up her language, take all of its class
But the hedgehog ain't gonna be fucked in the ass.
If you're versed in Chinese and a skilled acrobat,
You can bugger the bat right along with the cat.
You may cause a pandemic spread by aerosol,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you're angry about all the cars that they stole,
Just cross over the border and bugger the Pole!
You can bugger the Czech, the Ukranian, the Balt,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at alt.
If you have the right coach and the proper approach,
You can bugger the cock right along with the roach.
(That's a hendiadys – look it up on my blog!
Yet, you never can bugger the hedge or the hog.)
You can bugger the owl - the Athenian Fowl! -
If you carefully keep it wrapped up in a towel.
You might anger Minerva, the goddess of war,
But - unlike with the hedgehog - you'd manage to score.
Well, at least the ones I found ...
People on a safari said it was not too hard
With some guidance to bugger the cámelopard:
You may need a long ladder – it's awfully tall –
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
Back in seventeen eighty, some late afternoon,
our president Donald arrived on the moon.
There, he buggered the Britons and built a huge wall,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you're feeling quite desperate for love and a rhyme,
You can bugger the Dodo: just go back in time.
It is easy, just ask Donald J. and his men –
but the hedgehog can't even be buggered back then
Even Mary the virgin, God's maiden most dear,
Can be buggered if you simply go through her ear.
(That is if you're an angel and follow His call).
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you feel no remorse, you can bugger the horse;
You can bugger the mule (if you do it with force).
You can bugger the donkey, the hinny, the ass,
But the hedgehog had better be left in the grass.
If thy father be slain and revenge be thy thing,
Thou canst bugger thy uncle, the treach'rous new king.
(That's the story of Hamlet, a play by the Bard)
But to bugger the hedgehog's undoably hard.
After Jesus had died, in the old Roman days,
People buggered each other in various ways:
Nicomedes took Caesar while Caesar took Gaul;
But the hedgehog has never been buggered at all.
Under Lincoln's command and the Red Rocket's glare
Our troops conquered Britain by manning the air.
They persisted through perils, through trouble and strife,
And they buggered a hedgehog and made him their wife.
You can wipe out two towns and earn glory and praise,
And discuss the republic in various ways.
Yet no leader almighty, no all-knowing sage
Ever buggered the hedgehog to this day and age.
Over four years ago in the apocalypse,
Teddy Roosevelt stared into the solar eclipse.
Armageddon came true as predicted by Paul,
but the hedgehog has never been buggered at all.
Even though she's protected by God and her guard
To enbugger Her Majesty ain't really hard:
You can fuck up her language, take all of its class
But the hedgehog ain't gonna be fucked in the ass.
If you're versed in Chinese and a skilled acrobat,
You can bugger the bat right along with the cat.
You may cause a pandemic spread by aerosol,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you're angry about all the cars that they stole,
Just cross over the border and bugger the Pole!
You can bugger the Czech, the Ukranian, the Balt,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at alt.
If you have the right coach and the proper approach,
You can bugger the cock right along with the roach.
(That's a hendiadys – look it up on my blog!
Yet, you never can bugger the hedge or the hog.)
You can bugger the owl - the Athenian Fowl! -
If you carefully keep it wrapped up in a towel.
You might anger Minerva, the goddess of war,
But - unlike with the hedgehog - you'd manage to score.